All that I am
by Weasel of Dawn
Summary: After his parents' sudden death, Uchiha Sasuke is sent to live with a brother he's never heard of before. AU, yaoi.
1. Chapter 1

The dark-haired boy peered through the stained glass, glaring accusingly at the raindrops that flew everywhere and stuck to the windows, slowly rolling down. The world outside was a big nest of malfunctioning motors. Inside, he was trapped like a broken gas pipe.

The Mercedes he was in wasn't really moving at all. Highway 45 was packed like sushi; there was no way the flock of cars could squeeze through in less than an hour.

"You okay, kid?" The driver turned his upper body around to face the boy in an awkward angle.

"Yes, I feel great."

He felt like throwing up. He reached for his backpack, searched every pocket with a blind hand for a puke-container, but found none. He looked up. The driver was starring at him with his fishy eyes.

"You're not gonna throw up in here, are you?"

Judging from the tone of his voice, he seemed a lot more worried about his dust-free seats than the sick teenager sitting on them.

"Well, can you at least hold it in until we get outta here? I'll let you throw up at our next stop."

_You've got to be kidding_, the boy thought. But the driver turned around again and focused his attention back to the red brake lights of the Volvo in front of them.

Finding no comfort from the driver and even less from the outside world, Sasuke laid down on the back seat and shut his eyes. The car was moving and stopping every second now, and the driver was being overly impatient with the traffic. All around them cars and trucks and everything on wheels were moaning and screeching, pouring coughs of smoke into the rain, and it seemed as if the highway was under a spell of sickness, and its slow motion made him feel very small and ugly.

The Mercedes finally made it through the jam after two hours. The first thing they did was to stop on the side of the road. Sasuke stumbled out of the car just as his tightly squeezed throat gave up. Bumping against a tree he lowered his head, let out a gagging sound, and his vomit splashed onto the tree's roots. The driver waited a certain distance from him – and the hideous odour – with a fresh towel and a water bottle. "Still just a kid," he said to himself.

No more than three days ago, the "kid" was reassuring his parents – who were leaving the city to go on one of their many business trips – that he would stay out of trouble. Then, that same night, he was informed by a police officer ringing at his door that they were never to return. Unfortunate plane crash, he was told. The neighbours wept among themselves, but they left him alone.

And abruptly the next day a strange man claiming to be representing a long lost brother of his came to him. The events that followed were a blur, and Sasuke was somehow adopted by that brother, and legal papers were filled that very afternoon. Suddenly the Uchihas' house was for sale. Potential home buyers came in the evening looking around and asking questions, and the Uchiha family's lawyer – a filthy pig in Sasuke's eyes – answered them all without hesitating. Everything went so fast that the boy himself couldn't keep up.

The next thing he knew, he was sitting on the stairs the morning after, being told that he was going to live with that brother he's never heard of from now on. He was to pack up his things and a driver would pick him up the following day, early in the morning.

Now, there he was, back in the car, his face and neck purple from all the vomiting, reluctantly talking to the driver in hopes of obtaining some information about his newly found brother.

"You don't have to stare at me like that, you know," the driver said as he turned down the radio. "Not my fault your life's a mess right now. You can blame Itachi all you want; I'm just an underpaid driver."

From the driver – Kisame was his name – Sasuke learned that Uchiha Itachi, his 'long-lost brother', is a twenty-something businessman, and one hell of a rich dude, as Kisame puts it. Despite being popular with both sexes, Itachi is very lonesome and has few friends. He seldom gets intimate with anyone, and if he ever does, the rare affection he shows quickly ends in a short relationship. He works in a powerful organisation called Akatsuki, and that is where he "got" all his money, but Kisame refuses to give any more detail, claiming that it is none of Sasuke's business.

"We don't question him much, he makes decent use of his money," Kisame said. "Though he should pay his drivers a little more."

Now as they talked the cloudy sky started to clear itself. Sasuke could feel the sunset behind them, red as it fell, its glare still hanging onto the few clouds disappearing into the ashy evening.

The dark-haired boy was afraid. He thought of a dozen of ways to present himself to Itachi, but none of them seemed appropriate. What was he supposed to say?

_Hello there, my name is Sasuke. You're my long lost brother, or so I've been told._

In his head he made up theories, a few answers, more questions, and even more nonsense.

"Maybe Itachi doesn't even exist," he wondered aloud.

Kisame only laughed in reply.

Soon night came.


	2. Chapter 2

_The Uchiha Mansion, built only ten years before Itachi had claimed it as his own for a mediocre price of 5 millions, is located at the centre of the prestigious ANBU Park, now also property of the rich Uchiha. A few kilometers on the northern side the Rain village stretches its arms towards the precious property, though not daring to touch it. The high fences built all around the terrain made an obvious statement: do not trespass. Now and then a stray dog would wander into the unfriendly side of the land, and never be seen again. _

Sasuke awoke at the clanging of opening gates. A flat driveway rolled away from the iron fences, and the car was moving smoothly into the private property. The driver was as stiff as ever in his leather seat, his small eyes fixed on the road ahead. The flat lands all around were blue under the cloudless sky, and shadows skipped by the nude grass as the headlights of the Mercedes advanced. A giant white block stood silent near the end of the driveway.

Kisame suddenly turned around.

"See that?" He pointed a hand into the direction of the white block. "That's Itachi's lair. You might wanna be careful once you get in there. He doesn't show much mercy to troublemakers"

The block was getting nearer and nearer. White stairs came into view, and at the end of a dozen of marble steps sat a pair of wooden doors. The dark of the wood stood out from the white of the walls, and as he stared with wonder Sasuke had the impression that he was being sucked into a black hole, falling through an endless pit. He shivered.

"Man, does he have good taste," Kisame laughed. "A little too conservative, but still sophisticated. Apparently, high contrast is pretty fashionable."

They stopped in front of the stairs. The boy helped himself out while the driver opened the trunk and took out Sasuke's meager luggage. When the trunk was locked back into place Kisame took out an envelope from his own bag and handed it to the boy.

"Take this with you. It contains copies of your certificates and documents, so you better keep it. Itachi has the original copies. There's also a map of the mansion and a list of things that you'll need to know if you wanna stay here. It's all in the envelope." He rapidly patted Sasuke's head. "Have fun, kid."

The man walked back to his car and waved. He seemed rather worried, if not completely anxious. There was something about his expression that disquieted Sasuke's mind, but said boy couldn't quite put his hand on it. He smiled back at the strange driver, who nodded and got back into his car. In a flash he was out of sight.

At that very moment the front doors of the mansion popped open. A strange blond man was leaning against the doorframe, glancing down at the dark-haired boy with an unhappy face.

"Yeah, uh, you are Sasuke, yeah?"

Sasuke backed up a bit and sucked in his stomach. What the hell?

"Don't make that face, I'm friendly, yeah? Won't hurt you any time soon."

He walked casually down the stairs and picked up Sasuke's luggage before he could protest. Then, as if he did not notice Sasuke's perplexity, he walked back up the stairs, through the creepy doors, and into the mansion, all without turning back. Sasuke waited a few minutes before following him into his long-lost brother's home.

"Holy shit!!"

Sasuke was speechless. He couldn't think of any fancy word that could possibly describe his awe. There he was, standing still in the middle of an enormous hall like an idiot, facing two sets of stairs that crept up into opposite directions, along with some random doors all around, trying to decide whichever way he should go. Luckily for him, he caught a glimpse of the blond man dragging his luggage upstairs, and decided to follow.

"Wait up, hey!"

The stairs ended, and Sasuke nearly stumbled on the thick white carpet that covered the second floor. He spied another set of stairs leading to the third floor, but decided that it was not time for him to play explorer. Now the blond was walking into one of the two dimly lit hallways. He was cursing about smashing some crappy elevator to pieces if it wasn't repaired soon. Sasuke ran after him.

"Hey! Are you Itachi?"

The blond gave a scary laugh and stopped walking.

"Me? Kisame fed you pills, yeah?"

Sasuke shook his head. "Uh, no."

"Do I look anything like you or you daddy?"

Sasuke shook his head harder. "I don't think so, but…"

The light-haired man patted the boy's shoulder. "Listen, Itachi can't meet you tonight. He's busy. I'm – uh – a friend of his."

He walked to a closed door and fished a set of keys from a pocket.

"This will be your room, Sasuke. Don't make a mess, yeah?"

Sasuke was becoming more and more irritated by the man's odd speech – _yeah_ – but said nothing.

The key wiggled in its socket for a few seconds before the door decided to yield. There was no light inside the room, but Sasuke could tell by the air flow that it was quite a bit oversized.

"Cool, where are the lights?"

"I think I left the remote somewhere inside." The blond eyed Sasuke with the same worried expression that Kisame had. "Ah well, I'm gonna go now. Enjoy yourself, yeah. Itachi will probably see you in the morning." He turned around and left.

It took Sasuke almost half an hour to find the remote, and another half an hour to figure out how to use it. It was a small, black thing, and he had to point it towards the ceiling in order to turn the lights on. There were also a few buttons for air conditioning and the fireplace, but they were too weird for Sasuke to decipher.

The room itself was very luxurious; it looked and felt like a first-class suite designed especially for the president. A lily-white king-sized bed lay on one side, while a matching leather couch rested on the other, along with a flat screen TV. The floor was covered with a sinister black carpet, and snowy curtains adorned the big windows. A door opened to a gigantic bathroom filled with black towels. _Talk about contrast_, Sasuke thought, _this is completely insane_.

He dropped his luggage on the floor.

He felt disappointed. His long-lost brother, the one who bothered to go through all the complicated procedures in order to adopt him, was now _too busy_ to greet him? As far as Sasuke was concerned, it wasn't a good excuse – it was more like nonsense. This could all be a trap to get him kidnapped. But then again, both his parents were dead, so nobody would pay for the ransom.

The thought of his parents brought an awkward pain to his chest. Sasuke was never really close to them. Sure, he treated them with respect and love, and he acknowledged their love for him as best as a teenager could, but he knew there was always something missing. Both his parents were extremely busy, and they were constantly on business trips or visiting friends, so Sasuke spent most of his days alone. He didn't care as much as he did when he was little; as long as his parents left him money, it was okay.

He didn't even know if he was truly sad for their deaths or just very hungry.


	3. Chapter 3

A few years ago, Sasuke was the star of his school. He had everything a boy could possibly want: girls, dazzling looks, good grades, popular friends, and the sweet taste of power. He wasn't particularly happy with himself back then, but that was as good as life could get, so happiness wasn't a priority.

His good fortune ended when he hit puberty.

He himself wasn't too aware of the changes, and when he had finally caught himself shopping for makeup and spied his own all-too-pretty reflection in the mirror, it was already too late. He suddenly realised that his behaviour had become strange and awkward in the past few months, and all his joy and innocence that he bore with him as a child had worn off in less than a week. It was probably some kind of teenager's syndrome, but no matter how Sasuke tried to get rid of it, it just wouldn't leave.

He knew then that the good life ended for him.

The first time he heard the word "faggot" being addressed at him was during a chemistry class. Some irritating vapour had escaped from a broken bottle, and – by some misfortune – headed straight for his eyes. Needless to say, his face was covered in tears and god-knows-what after only a few minutes. It was then that the class fell silent. A few kids sitting near him snickered and pointed at his face. It didn't take him long to figure out that his black eyeliner was making a smudgy mess around his watery eyes. At that moment someone coughed a low but still audible "faggot!" at him, and everybody burst out laughing.

After that humiliating incident he became the "emo kid", the "eyeliner boy", or just plain old "fag". Everybody he knew, including his so-called friends, kept away from him and never spoke to him again. The rejection didn't hurt half as much as he thought it would, although it wasn't especially pleasant either. Now and again one of the popular kids would pick a fight with him, and, when everybody around is cheering for your opponent, it's hard to walk out with a victory.

But life went on. His angst eventually cooled down, and most of the time he was pretty normal again. And when he wasn't, well, he would cry over spilled hair gel. No big deal.

To sum it all up, Sasuke's life as a teenager was about three words ending with TION.

Agitation, fixation, and erection.

That last one especially.

* * *

Sasuke moaned lazily in his bed. A telephone was ringing somewhere in his room. He stretches, scans his monochromatic surroundings, and finds a metallic phone shinning near the couch. He rolls out of bed, surprised at himself for having slept so carelessly in a stranger's house.

"Hello…?"

A stranger's voice answered him. "Good morning, Sasuke."

There was silence as the voice waited for a response. Sasuke held the receiver against his cheek, terrified at the way his heart danced in his chest.

"Oh," he mumbled stupidly.

"My name is Itachi. You probably know that already… I'm your brother, Sasuke."

The boy clutched the receiver even tighter.

"Yeah, I know. Uh… they told me."

"I'm in the solarium," Itachi said. "Could you come down and join me for breakfast?" His voice sounded almost commanding.

"Yeah, okay." Sasuke wanted to ask for directions, but Itachi fell silent and the line went dead. Kisame's colourful map jumped into view; it was lying on the black floor.

* * *

The solarium was built outside of the eastern wall, its transparent shell facing the morning sun. A row of short flowers surrounded the walls, but few people knew that their petals were actually made of plastic. As he walked carefully into the room Sasuke spied a figure sitting alone at a table. He hesitates, takes small strides, calculating each step he took, until finally the figure looks up from whatever fancy food he was enjoying.

"Good to see you, Sasuke."

That same voice from the receiver. For an instant, Sasuke felt his blood drain completely. He wasn't sure whether he felt nervous or frightened, but as he stood paralysed his breathing came to a halt, and he just stared silently at this long-lost brother of his, hypnotized by what he saw.

Itachi had the trademark jet-black hair that all Uchihas were born with. His long locks were tied into a loose ponytail, while unordered bangs framed his face. But it was his eyes that really caught Sasuke's attention. They were sharp and dark, accentuated by long lashes, and his gaze bore an apathetic authority that Sasuke couldn't fathom out. They were frightening, but they were the most beautiful eyes the boy has ever seen.

"No need to be afraid, I won't kill you."

Sasuke was knocked out if his stupour. He felt that he should laugh at Itachi's attempt at a humourous remark – matter of politeness – but when he saw that his brother was actually _serious_ – Itachi's face was hard and humourless – he quickly made his way to the table and sat down.

"You've slept well?" Itachi started. "Happy with your room?"

Sasuke was a bit uneasy under Itachi's intense gaze. "Yeah," he replied nervously, "everything's pretty cool. Thanks."

Itachi nodded. "I hope you're not mad at me for absenting last night; I was quite busy with work."

"Oh, it's fine, I understand."_ Fuck you, I almost got lost._

The older Uchiha took a sip of his coffee while Sasuke watched him discreetly. _Definitely too pretty for his own good… not very Uchiha-ish… is that really my brother, 'cause he scares me… trying to look mature, is he… probably got all his money by selling gay porn… rich bastard, he thinks he's so hot… almost knocked me out with those scary eyes of his… _

Itachi put down his drink and sat back. His eyes glanced over at Sasuke, almost looking right through him. The boy started to fidget in his seat.

"So… How come… I've never, like, heard of you?" Sasuke muttered.

Itachi's expression softened. "I was afraid you'd ask that."

* * *

Uchiha Fugaku was once a very ambitious man. No,more like _wild_. He quit school at age 17 and started his own little business, which consisted of smuggling illegal drugs. He was a smart dealer and made quite a bit of money. Soon, his little business became a big business, and the big business took over the black market. Fugaku became a celebrity of the underworld, causing chaos wherever he went. His life revolved around his money, his drug, and his women. It was then that Itachi was born. The mother – one of Fugaku's many ladies – had died after giving birth, so Fugaku, only 20 at the time, had to take care of his son. Fearing for Itachi's safety he disappeared for a while from the underworld.

When Itachi turned 4 Fugaku's business suddenly fell apart. Apparently, a close friend had betrayed him. Fugaku had to leave everything behind in order to save his own life. A family friend, Uchiha Shisui, took Itachi with him and raised the boy alone. Away from his old life, Fugaku fell in love with Mikoto during a social gathering, and Sasuke was born a year later. The man never told anything about his past to Mikoto, and she never tried to find out. Itachi grew up under Shisui's wing. Once a month Fugaku would visit his first son and try to show him that he still cares, but he knew that Itachi had grown to hate him.

* * *

"I knew about you and Mikoto," Itachi said. "He never stopped talking about you two."

Sasuke looked down at his empty plate. He caught Itachi's reflection on the smooth surface, and as he looked he thought he could see Fugaku sitting there, his stern face beaming with arrogance, his eyes filled with ambition.

"You say you hate him, but you're so much alike," Sasuke said, hoping that his brother didn't take it the wrong way.

But Itachi smiled. "You have no idea."


End file.
